AlreadyDead (psykoboy2) wrote,

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All Dogs Go To Heaven

He's sleeping on the floor behind me. Or lapsing in and out of death it seems as of late. It's not supposed to happen overnight. Not that quick. I mean, Friday night he was fine, and the next morning......whatever it was sucked what was left of life out of him. He doesn't show exictment like he used to. Running, hopping, you could sometimes swear he was smiling. Now it's nothing but a look. As though he is trying so hard to smile, but just can't muster the strength to do so. He looks at you as though he is saying, "Fix me." As if he knows I know something is wrong, but I'm not doing anything about it. I wish one of my parents were make me feel better about impending death.

Now I'm crying. He's right behind me sleeping but I don't see him. I see this future that feels so near. He won't be behind me as I walk from room to room, he won't be here when I come home anymore. I'm losing my best friend.

He's the last to go. He was here when my mother went and again with my father, and soon it'll be his turn...or it feels that way. Earlier tonight he lowered his head to get some food and stumbled falling on his face. He got his feet set and leaned in slower and got the food.

I'm taking him to the Vet tomorrow. When I see him again, I hope I see a smile. I hope the doctor tells me what's wrong and how to treat it and he's all better. I want it to be Friday night again and never end.

I don't want to lose my best friend.

I love him.

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