AlreadyDead (psykoboy2) wrote,
AlreadyDead
psykoboy2

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There's A Place I'd Like To Be

I wish I was at home writing this, listening to my own music there. Trying to write with the shit we play isn't easy.

This day, by most accounts would be shite. But, instead for me it's something else. I'm not sad, for the most part, but I am not happy either. Which is strange seeing that Ben will be here in a few days and a few days after will be the 30th. I have plenty to look forward to.

Thing is, today isn't good. I found out today that Six Flags is closed during the week now so Ben, Matt, Kimberly, and I cannot go on Wednesday as planned and probably can't go at all now anyway. That's okay, I can live with that. I hate it happened, but I can live with it.

Another reason today isn't good is because my bump is back. I have this bump under my arm, it's already leaked. I MacGyver styled a bandage under there to keep from bleeding all over myself. And so far, it's working.

Ugh, work. Where to start. Well, I have those days off coming up and that's a good thing. Won't change my mind about the place, but it's good to have off. Thing is, our morning guy is taking tomorrow off so I have to fill in for him. I'll be in at work around 5:30 in the morning for that. No late night History channel for me tonight. ~sigh~ Speaking of, it was 3am the other night and the History Channel went over to their informercial time, so I flipped it to HBO and low-&-fucking-behold....it was Autopsy. Fuck I love that show. Fell asleep to it. Needless to say I had a weird dream about a lot of dead bodies on the side of a road. But seriously, that show is great.

Something else about today. I'm signing my will. My aunt's coming by later this afternoon so I can sign it. After two dead parents with NO WILL, and me being the only one left in the immediate family, well, it needs to be done. I'm leaving everything to my Aunt for right now should I go before I have a wife or just well, someone else to leave it all to. I don't mind leaving it all to my Aunt, hell, for what she's done, she deserves it all. I'm also signing my "Living Will". It's the one that states that if I ever become a vegtable, they can pull the plug on me if I am unable to speak or something like that. I think it's the one that bothers me most. It's just weird signing something like that. Course, if I ever am in that state then I don't think I'll be changing my mind anyway. I feel like I should be picking out a plot somewhere and shop for a casket. Like I'm dying soon. Although there was talk about that. I stopped it there though. I don't really want to be buried here anyway. Some of the family were a little curious about that, but to be honest, by the time I die, most, if not all, of my family will be gone anyway. No one will visit me in the ground. Not that I am looking for a place where people will, but there's just no point in me being buried here. I want to be buried with my loved one...well, my wife. Maybe they could just creamate us both and then do whatever with us both afterward. I dunno. Spread our ashes over Paris or something.

Then there's Ben again. This is pretty much it folks. After he's gone, we all probably won't be together again for a long time, if ever at all. Now, sure I'll visit him, Matt, and Dave, but I don't see us all being together like this again for a very, very long time. Everyone's leaving. Dave is joining the Air Force...eventually. Matt's moving away as well...hell, he and Ben are following each other back when Ben leaves on the 30th. As for me, it's only a matter of time.
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