AlreadyDead (psykoboy2) wrote,

And Dance By The Light Of The Moon....

What an asinine thing to talk about for Valentine's Day.

But oh well.

Does anyone watch "Two And A Half Men"?

Neither did I. At least not till someone put the thought in my head when I was filling in as host of the afternoon talk show at the station. So, given my word to this listener, whomever they may be, I watched as I said I would.


Mildly entertaining, but funnier than most live-studio sitcoms (Nothing can yet beat Scrubs, The Office, and My Name Is Earl). The real reward of watching this show is the production card at the end. You know...production cards, vanity cards...that thing at the end of Lost that says "bad robot!"...or "Sit BooBoo sit, good dog (bark!)".

Chuck Lorre, the guy behind "Cybill" and "Dharma & Greg", has his own vanity cards. They are letters to the viewers. They only stay on screen for about a second or less and then they are gone, but if you have a TiVo of some sort, you can pause and read them.

Some selections from recent episodes:


Dear Oprah,

The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming autobiography, Soul Soiled, a story of degradation, despair and, finally, redemption. I look forward to discussing it with you on your show.

Chuck Lorre

The thing is, she shouldn't have stolen my heroin. But as I looked down at her battered, cheerleader's body, a bloody twirling baton in my right hand, a dirty hypodermic needle in my left, the only thought rattling around my fevered, junkie brain was whether I could trade her baby for a gun. I wish I could say I hit rock bottom that night. But my moment of clarity wouldn't come until years later when I was doing hard time in a hard prison. I was in the hole, which frankly was hard, when Mother Mary came to me. She was speaking words of wisdom, (I think "sagacious" was one of the words) and told me that the only way I could wash the soil from my soul was if I brought laughter to millions of people. She suggested I get started by writing freelance scripts for Charles in Charge, but not until I found an agent.

And another:


I wanted to take this opportunity to express my gratitude for your loyal viewership of Two and a Half Men. I know there are many terrific shows on competing networks that you could have chosen. As a way of saying thank you, I thought I'd catch you up on what you missed.

24: 10 AM to 11 AM. Jack had three close calls but survived by being resourceful. Several people died violent deaths. Some of the people who died had it coming. Some were just in the wrong place right before a commercial break. Cell phones were used extensively to connect the split-screen action. Despite missing breakfast, none of the characters discussed possible lunch plans.

VEGAS: Sonny Corleone was outraged over the shooting of his dad and foolishly drove to a toll booth where he was riddled with lead.

EMILY'S REASONS WHY NOT: THE BACHELOR: Laughter ensues as pretty girls demean themselves competing for the bachelor's affection and a flower.

THE HISTORY CHANNEL: Compelling new evidence that UFO's can go underwater.

To read more of his cards, watch the show or go here.

And have a happy Valentine's Day.
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