AlreadyDead (psykoboy2) wrote,

  • Music:
I hate that he's gone.

Didn't know it'd get to me like that.

Makes me wonder how I'll deal when somebody from U2 goes, and mother help me when Murray passes as well. Thought of him today actually. You know how they say these things happen in 3's. Well, there was Dangerfield, Reeve...

I'm so behind on this thing. Playing games and going places...being lazy and just uninterested.

Did I ever mention I was seeing someone over the past couple of weeks? I guess not. I haven't written anything personal in here for a hella long time. So yeah, I was. I was seeing this friend of friends type of thing. She'd just recently divorced and wanted to get back in the dating scene. I was her first pick. Bad move on her part. I gave her clear warning up front that I wasn't the dating type. I don't do bars and beers. I don't do public at all. I suck at communication. I like my games, my movies, my TV, my alone time. I'm lazy as all fuck (I repeated that one several times).

We're not seeing each other anymore. I'm not sad about it. Kinda lifted me a bit. She's a great woman and by all means deserves better than me, so I am in no way upset or whatever. During that time, I think it hit me just how much I like being alone.

I'll probably never get married and saying that just doesn't hurt at all. It's almost as if I want the world to know with a big ass smile on my face about it. Oh well. So yeah, she doesn't call anymore and I never really called at all. Just leave it at that I suppose.

Moving on. I love my friends man. I know Dave throws that out there sometimes on one of his lonely moments he goes through up there in cold country, but fuck...gotta be said, ya know?

We hit Six Flags one weekend and then went back to Atlanta another. I think we should expand this trip taking we do to include places futher way....ones that driving too are just plain crazy so we fly or something. But anyway, Dana cooked a few times a couple weeks back and it was the shit. James you lucky fuck you. She's looking to go to cooking school and I say "cooking" cause I think I'll fuck up the word "culinary". She'll rock at that. Cept, the school's in Portland. Contemplating...I am.

Ugh...ya know, I hate the place too, but I try to look at moving and I can't breathe. It seems like that much of a Task for me. Getting the house ready to sell, getting all my shit out of the house, making the move itself and then surviving that as well. Lots to think about...lots to contemplate.

As for friends, they are the majority. It's Ben, Kim, Dana, & James. Party Of Five...and party of one just plain sucks. I don't wanna give up these people. I don't wanna say, "Well, yer moving. See ya later. Keep in touch. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit." Long distance relationships, be them love or friends....they usually never work.

There's this line from this "song": "Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young."

I try to remind myself of that when I think of the move. Go through that shit, cause if you don't (1.)You'll be stuck here, you lazy fuck, and (2.)You'll lose what makes your life what it is today.

Anyway, on to other items to speak of: U2. Their new album is in stores just before Thanksgiving on Nov. 23 I believe. It's getting good reviews and previews as well. I'm not here to promote them, fuck...a band that has been around that long you have already made your mind up on. I just mention it to link it to the friends thing. I knew U2 before I knew any of the 4 above....and to know something new from them is about to be released is like a reunion in a way. And like the friends above the inspiration they bring is amazing. But yeah, can you tell I'm just rambling here?

We're set again to go out of town this weekend, the five of us. Checking out an Egyptian exhibit in Birmingham, a quite tasty place to eat, and Atrox that night. Plus, we've all picked 25 guilty pleasure songs that I am burning to an mp3 that we'll listen to on the way there.

I think if I take a break from this....something with better form will come out. So that's what I am going to do. I'll write more at some point.
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