AlreadyDead (psykoboy2) wrote,
AlreadyDead
psykoboy2

"I'm just tired is all."

Man, what a great excuse. And 95% of the time, it's the honest one. As I am almost constantly tired unless you catch me in the morning when I get up at 4:30. Monday's are fine. I can go through a Monday without so much as a yawn till 10:30 or 11 at night. Tuesday's, if I am in bed the previous night before 10:30, I'm usually okay to go then as well. However, by the middle of the week on, I'm so tired by 2 or 3pm in the afternoon. Yet, look at a Friday for me: I get up at 4:30am, at work by 6, location broadcasts either mid-day or afternoon (sometimes both), then a high school football score show that night from 9:30pm to 11pm. And even after, I can make it till 3, sometimes 6 the next morning...with ease. I think it's because I know I can sleep in the next morning to cover for the time I am up the night before. Something in the mind there at work, I dunno what.

Still, "I'm just tired is all", comes in handy perfectly, be it honest or not. For instance, last Tuesday the company had a little "thank you" dinner thing for all the stations and sales and whoever works for the company in appreciation for the work and time and effort we put into the fair here for our booth...or well, one station's booth anyway. So, you know, I wasn't gonna go. It was at 6pm, and by then, I've been home for around 6 hours and pretty laid back/not up for a trip back into town. I go anyway. It's free food, and I missed the last one of these the company did. I do care about my job and I enjoy the people who I work for. If they are gonna show appreciation for me and my work, why not show up in appreciation of that, ya know?

So I go, and I'm all mopy and finding corners of the room to stick myself in and be alone. I don't mingle well like this and during these times I don't look like a guy you'd really wanna hang around and have a fun time with. I'm shy, I keep to myself, and that's my world in situations like this. I love it, really. Anyway, someone comes up to me to have small talk and acknowledge my existance there and I give short - very short - answers/responses to whatever they ask or say. Which prompts them to then query: "Is everything okay? You seem sad or something."

My response - you guessed it: "I'm just tired is all."

Poof. Everything resloved. Not held accountable to what I was feeling all because of 5 words that wrap it all up nicely....and best of all - It's only 5 words that have to be said and I can go back to my shut up and be quiet self. It cuts off any further questions they have about my general helth and well being, and gives the idea that I'm not very talkative cause well...I'm just tired is all. Works like a charm, I tell ya.

Truth is, I was a little sad. Day after my birthday and I always get sad that day...sometimes during the day itself, but always the day after. Never fails. And that only began after my mom died. More so after dad passed of course. But, that was the reason I was keeping mute. I honestly didn't want others to come up to me and wish me a happy birthday or anything like that. Just another reminder of "Oh yeah, we're gonna wish you a happy birthday cause you know...yer parents aren't around to do that for you anymore" and shit like that. I appreciate it, don't get me wrong. It just has that little side affect on me. Oh well.

Then again, my friends do this much better and with more grace. They don't remind me that I don't have parents to wish me a happy birthday. They remind me that I have them to do that. They remind me that I have a birthday that works just as well with or without parents, so long as they are taking care of it.

This was no more prevelant than last Monday. Dana (zisforzillah) and her man James (we gotta get him an LJ, just for linking purposes if nothing else), Ben (barbequed_alien), Kim (pookim21), and I (psykoboy2), had planned on having dinner at my place. Dana was cooking again and we figured Monday to be the best night to do it. I just took it in my mind to be a nice birthday dinner. Something for me privately, be them aware it was my b-day or not.

So the doorbell rings and I answer it. And it's Dana and James. James carrying a cooler full of food and Dana...well, she's holding this.

Man, my eyes lit up. I was really surprised by that, and plus...it's Superman for fuck's sake. I swear I didn't want to cut into that thing, cause it was a thing of beauty. I've had a Kermit cake, a Spider-Man cake, but this was my first Superman cake.

A little later and Kim showed up with gifts. Again...no fucking clue this was going on. She walks in with a Batman gift bag with all sorts of goodies inside.

They know me well: I got a Dean, Frank, & Sammy CD (love those guys), this DVD, and my favorite drink.

It was honestly a fanfuckingtastic birthday and I loved every minute of it.

Anyway, I've got work to do here, then it's home to have lunch and do what the hell ever.
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